I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Randomize
