my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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