he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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