I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Randomize
