Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
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