Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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