I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
