dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Randomize
