God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize
