My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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