It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Cover your peen. We're going out.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
