I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Randomize
