you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Never joke about your clitoris.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
