So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
