At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
