maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
