Just fell off a train. Bad.
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
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