I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
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