What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
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