I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Randomize
