How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
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