What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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