That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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