Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
