wakey wakey hands off snakey
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Randomize
