ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
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