Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
I am full of burrito and curiosity
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
My life is pants optional.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
