if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
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