Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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