I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
