yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Randomize
