I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Randomize
