i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
