White coat. Heels.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
