Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
