If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
