It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
