the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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