So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
