it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Randomize
