Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
You left your underwear on the fireplace
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
