super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
they call him Oral-B. enough said
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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