If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
You dont lie about slip and slides
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
