If that was your dad, he is hot
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
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