I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
as a side note pls kill me
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