spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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