margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
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