When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
