so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
