Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
