I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Randomize
